Willow Rosenburg IT Associate
by Argyle Butterfly
Summary: Wanting to try and live like a "normal" girl Willow takes a job as a computer programmer working for Reynholm Industries. Cross-over with The IT Crowd.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer was created by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions and is licensed by 20th Century Fox. IT Crowd written by Graham Linehan and produced by Ash Atalla. Only the ideas contained within this story are mine. No profit has been, or will be, made by writing this story.

Willow was awake early having learned years ago that once the young Slayers were up she would not have a chance to read the morning's newspaper. She was permanently living at the main Watcher's Council Building in London, England, having left Kennedy and all of the drama of their relationship behind a couple of years ago. Kennedy was living at the Active Hellmouth in Cleveland, Ohio and Willow was relieved to have the ocean between them.

"That's mine you Bitch!" a young female screamed upstairs.

Willow ran her finger over the Job Advertisements from the daily newspaper thinking she had to expand her social network – sooner rather than later. Living with Giles, Buffy and forty pre-teen girls was not enough. A large square advert caught her eye.

"Reynholm Industries: Looking for a young, vibrant software engineer interested in modern technology and working within a close-knit dynamic group."

Upstairs the volume of the yelling intensified. Willow could hear a loud thump followed by a crash that could only be a body being thrown through a closed wooden door.

Willow grabbed her laptop, quickly reviewed her resume and hit submit.

Ten minutes later her cell phone started to vibrate.

"Hello?" Willow asked not recognizing the incoming number.

"I need to speak to Willow Rosenberg please." a strong male voice asserted.

"I'm Willow, how can I help you?"

"This is Denholm Reynholm of Reynholm Industries and it would be more accurate to ask how I can help you?"

"Is this regarding the job I just applied for Online?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"How are you able to review my application so quickly?"

"My dear, my company is filled with sexy go-getters. If you can't figure that out perhaps you don't belong in my organization."

Taken aback at this description Willow was left momentarily speechless but the use of the word 'sexy' made her ask, "Sexy people?"

"Yes, young, hot and sexy professionals doing incredibly sexy things."

"You are looking for a computer programmer correct?"

"That is correct. I've decided our IT department's image needs an injection of freshness. Are you that fresh face we need?"

"Perhaps we could talk about it in a face-to-face interview?" Willow suggested.

"Splendid. I expect to see you in my office in an hour's time."

"What?" Willow asked, but Denholm had already hung up. Willow shrugged as she heard the dial tone. But she was interested in learning more about this organization and the job opportunity it presented..


	2. Chapter 2

Willow cleared her throat as she stood in front of Denholm Reynholm's Executive Assistant.

"Yes?" the smartly coiffed woman asked as she looked up at her.

"I have an appointment with Mr. Reynholm at nine o'clock this morning. My name is Willow Rosenberg."

"Ah yes, the IT applicant. Please have a seat." Willow was directed to some chairs that looked more stylish than functional.

Willow perched on a chair shuffling her body back and forth, trying to find some comfort in the modern décor. She could hear the man she had spoken to earlier command, "Send her in". Willow looked up expectantly.

The office door was held open for her as Denholm's young assistant waved her into the office.

Despite having worked directly with many bold, young, forthright Slayers, Willow was still shy, especially around strangers.

Denholm Reynholm stood at least 6 feet tall behind his desk in a smartly pressed three-piece suit. He sported a moustache and his hair was slicked back with copious amounts of Brylcreem. There was a framed picture of himself on the wall behind him.

"Hmmm," the man intoned looking her over, "You are Willow Rosenberg?"

"Yes sir," Willow replied still standing.

"Have a seat. According to your C.V. you are qualified and you certainly project the image I am looking for - you're hired!"

"I am?"

"Are you arguing with me?"

"No sir."

"Then you shall start immediately! Willow, I started this company with little more than a dream and six million pounds. I can easily come to this type of decision."

"Thank you sir."

"Since you are working in my IT Department you can begin by fixing my computer. The blasted thing won't turn on."

Willow reached over the desk and hit the power button; nothing happened. She concentrated and could feel her magic rushing through her system. She was tempted to give it a power jump start with her fingertips, but she looked up, and saw Denholm looking at her expectantly, so she forced herself to release the build up of magic. As she leaned back in her chair, she noticed the power cord was unplugged, so she popped it back into the power bar, leaned forward and pressed the power button, and this time it booted up.

"Its fixed" said Willow.

"You are a genius!" Denholm declared.

"It was nothing."

"Are you arguing with me again? You really should watch that Willow."

"No Sir." Willow gulped.

"Then I think you'll fit in here nicely. Just keep showing that expert intelligence you just did when you fixed my computer."

"Yes sir, thank you sir," agreed Willow, wondering to herself what type of company this was, and what she was getting herself into.


	3. Chapter 3

While waiting outside of the President and CEO Denholm Reynholm's office for her new Manager to appear and collect her, Willow breathed a deep sigh and dialed Giles' cell phone.

She crossed her fingers hoping she could leave a message and tell him about her new job in person tonight. No such luck.

"Hello?"

"Hi Giles, its Willow," she paused, "I'm going to be a little late home tonight. I just accepted a job at Reynholm Industries."

"What? I don't understand; you already have a job here at the Watcher's Council."

"I want to gain some relevant work experience in the corporate world. It will be quite helpful to our organization providing us an insight as to what the average man on the street thinks about us."

"Willow, if we cared about what most people thought about us we could hire a marketing research firm. But as you already know, we would prefer that most people remain ignorant of our organization and the evil we fight. You have received other offers of employment before. Why have you really taken this job?"

Willow looked around the spacious office, the fantastic view and the young urban professionals all going about their daily lives. "Because I want to see what it is like to be normal. I want to blend into the rest of society and pretend that there isn't an apocalypse season."

"If you think that it will make you happy you should take the job; just know that your job will always be waiting for you here at the Watcher's Council."

"Thank you Giles. My living situation hasn't changed as I still plan to live with all of you here in London and I will continue to provide technical support, but I want to try something different."

As Willow hung up her cell phone she felt as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

"Send Willow Rosenberg back in here." Willow could hear Denholm's voice from his Assistant's speaker phone. "My computer isn't working again."

His assistant looked Willow in the eyes, pity clearly in her facial expression. "Did you get that?" she asked.

"Yes, I'll go right in."

As Willow shut the door behind her Denholm stated, "It's broken again and it won't turn on."

Willow looked over at the machine and saw that the power cord must have been kicked out. As she bent down and plugged it into the wall she muttered a spell that would prevent it from being removed.

"Try it again."

"It works! As I've said before, you are a genius!"

Willow smiled inwardly, again wondering what she had gotten herself into.

A knock sounded on the office door.

"Come in," bellowed Denholm. A pretty young red-haired professional woman joined Denholm and Willow. Willow was standing uncomfortably beside him at his desk. "Ah Jen, I'm so glad that you came right up. I would like you to meet Willow Rosenberg. I've just hired her as a computer programmer for your department. Look at her! She's young, she's sexy, and she's smart as a whip. She's already fixed my computer twice in the fifteen minutes since I've hired her. A real find this girl."

Willow smiled awkwardly feeling like a show pony, "it was nothing, really."

"Are you arguing with me again Willow? I'm not sure about her attitude, but she is sexy - just look at her."

Jen looked at her newest employee and felt compassion for the poor woman. "Hi Willow, I'm Jen Barber." She turned to Denholm and announced, "I'm sure Willow will make a fine addition to our team. We don't as yet have a desk available."

"Don't bother me with the trivialities Jen, just make it so!"

As the two women left the office and headed to the elevators Willow asked, "So I'll be reporting directly to you?"

"The boys like to call me their Relationship Manager."

"Pardon me? Are you not a computer programmer yourself?"

"Not as such, no. My job is to interface between our technical support group and everyone else."

"But you are knowledgeable about computers?"

"Ah, yes. Computers, mice, monitors, keyboards …." Willow listened as Jen rambled on listing words related to technology as though she was free associating. "… Internet, cables."

"But," Willow interrupted her. "You do know how it all works, right?"

"How it works?" Jen stopped walking, turned and faced Willow blinking like a deer caught in the headlights. Willow could tell she was dealing with someone even more computer illiterate than Giles.

"Never mind," Willow responded. Jen smiled brightly, glad to have that cleared up.


	4. Chapter 4

"I was told I was hired because this is a modern, vibrant sexy company and I fit the profile of what Mr. Reynholm wants this company to embody." Willow stated as she and Jen walked along the basement hall stepping over debris and around toppling boxes. "But this part of the facility does not seem to fit that description at all." Willow remarked as she took in her surroundings.

"Ah well, you are right, it doesn't. Traditionally our IT Department has had a different image but we are working on changing that." Jen declared as she stepped over some discarded tubing that was lying on the floor. "And here we are; our home within Reynholm Industries."

Willow looked around and her inner geek squealed with joy. There were posters, science fictions toys and a big comfy couch in the middle of the office.

"Unfortunately, as I mentioned to Mr. Reynholm, we do not at the moment have a desk available for you."

"If you can just get me a laptop I can sit on the sofa," responded Willow.

"Marvelous," smiled Jen, "You really are a team player aren't you? And speaking of team players I'd like to introduce you to Roy Trenneman. He works as our support technician. I'll let the two of you get to know each other while I submit a requisition for your laptop." Jen stated as she entered her office and shut the door behind her.

Willow looked over at her new colleague, "Hi, I'm Willow. I was just hired as a computer programmer here."

"Do you know much about computers?" asked Roy.

Willow completely understood where Roy was going with this leading question, having been shocked at the complete technical ignorance of both Denholm and Jen herself. "I started my degree at the University of Sunnydale but transferred when the town became a giant sinkhole. I finished up at Oxford and have been employed by a Crown Corporation for the last couple of years." Willow felt pretty good about this response. The Watcher's Council had been created by King James II and the nominal head of the Council was still the reigning British monarch. Not that this fact was advertised.

"Impressive," the Irishman stated, "were you told what your function was going to be here?"

"Not yet, however the words young, sexy and vibrant were used."

"Ah yes, well we are at least one of those things."

Willow laughed. Even if this job wasn't exactly as advertised she felt that she was going to make some friends here.

"That is just not right!" a weedy male voice grew louder as the speaker approached the IT office. "Roy, the things I witness on the way to work would upset even a faithful practitioner of Buddhism; which of course I am not. Can you believe that people spit on the street Roy? I will definitely be writing to my Councilman about this shocking outrage." As the tall thin man with the oddly styled Afro hung up his jacket he was so busy ranting that it took him a moment to register there was a young, attractive woman standing in their office. "Oh Hello", he stiffly stated when he finally noticed Willow standing beside his best friend and colleague, Roy.

"Willow I would like you to meet Maurice Moss, Moss this is Willow who apparently will be working with us. Moss here is brilliant at improving and amending technological devices." Roy looked at both of them and smiled looking incredibly pleased that the introductions had gone so well.

As Willow looked at both men her mind quickly noted the contrasts they presented. Roy, a lanky Irishman, was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt with a picture of the universe and a sign amongst the stars proclaiming 'You are here!' Moss, on the other hand, looked as though careful attention had been paid to his attire. He was wearing brown corduroy pants, a pressed short sleeved brown plaid dress shirt and a tie fastened securely at his neck. A pocket protector and a couple of pens adorned his shirt front.

"Are you here to replace Jen? I don't know why upper management insists we need someone to manage us" declared Moss.

Before Willow had a chance to speak Roy responded, "No she's going to be working with us mate. Apparently she's a geek like you and me."

"And computer literate?" questioned Moss.

"Apparently so," Roy said with a smile.

"Really?" Moss looked at her amazed.

Willow walked over to shake Moss' hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you. May I call you Moss?"

"You certainly may!" responded Moss, ever the polite Englishman, "What is your particular field of interest?" he asked politely.

"I was working on Java programming for website design although recently I've been writing heuristic algorithms to make a more user friendly interface for proprietary software," responded Willow.

"Well you know what they say, there is no place like 127. 0. 0. 1. * " As soon as he said this Moss started laughing. Willow and Roy also couldn't help but join in and laugh at this geek joke.

Hearing the laughter the door to Jen's office opened and she poked her head out. She smiled seeing her team getting along so well, "What's so funny?" she asked.

Willow took a deep breath and answered, "Moss said there's no place like and I know it's an old joke but it's really funny!"

Jen gave a tight lipped smile and not wanting to appear even more of an outsider to her group than she already was responded, "Oh, how frightfully droll. Ha Ha Ha … I have some paperwork that must get done." And she quickly ducked back into her office and shut the door.

Moss and Roy looked at each other and rolled their eyes while Willow chuckled enjoying the feeling of being with fellow geeks.

* refers to the local host of an IP network a.k.a. 'home'.


	5. Chapter 5

Willow was seated at Roy's desk as he coached her on how to handle an IT complaint.

"Now you'll find the majority of the calls we receive are a complete waste of time. So before you get all excited thinking there is real work to be done or an opportunity to apply your knowledge and experience you need to ask the caller, 'Have you tried turning it off and on?' and a second very important question, 'Are you sure its plugged in?'"

Willow laughed, "You're mocking the new girl now aren't you?"

Roy grimaced and squinted his eyes as he shook his head, "I really wish I was."

The phone rang.

"Ah here we go, pick it up and give it a go." encouraged Roy.

Willow lifted the receiver, "Hello, this is the IT Department how can we help you?"

The voice on the other end of the line answered, "An entire section of computers on the sixth floor are not working."

"Oh that does sound like an emergency, I'll be right up." Willow hung up the phone and looked over at Roy. "There are computers that are not working on six and I said I would go up there and check it out."

"You completely ignored my advice?"

"Be reasonable Roy, the people working here cannot all be complete idiots when it comes to computers. Give people a little credit."

"Suit yourself," said Roy as he reclaimed his chair sitting back and putting his feet on the desk. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

Twenty minutes later Willow returned to the IT office scowling, without saying a word she threw herself onto the couch.

"So," began Roy, "did the sixth floor require your personal technical expertise?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yes, I really do."

"You really want to know what those idiots on the sixth floor did?"

"I'm all ears," responded Roy with a huge grin.

"Apparently someone had purchased a new espresso machine. But it needed an electrical outlet to work. Now instead of simply plugging it into the power bar they unplugged the power bar to use the wall socket directly."

"Which turned off the entire station of computers that were connected to that outlet?" Roy finished her story chortling, glad it wasn't him that had made the trip to the sixth floor.

"Exactly, but than they couldn't figure out why their computers weren't working." Willow slumped deeper into the chesterfield.

"Cheer up Willow! How was the espresso?" asked Moss.

"They wouldn't let me try it! They said the machine was for their department's use only."

Roy walked over to the couch with a mug that bore the acronym 'RTFM' in bold letters. "Here, have a hot chocolate. It'll make you feel better."

"Thanks Roy. I would just like to apply my skills and knowledge in a professional working environment and have others understand and appreciate what I accomplish."

"Drink up," said Roy, "You'll feel better with a bit of caffeine in your system."

The chocolaty goodness enveloped Willow like a warm hug. 'It's going to be ok,' she thought.

"Don't let it get you down Willow. The relentless grind of the corporate machine can get to the best of us."

"Thanks Moss."

"Do you think you are ready to try another call?" asked Roy, eager to have someone else deal with the tedious details of technical assistance.

"I may as well. I still don't have a computer so I should do something productive if I'm going to be paid to be here."

"That's the spirit!" encouraged Roy as he quickly shoved the comic book he was reading into the desk drawer. "Now this time remember the protocol, 'do not offer assistance until you have determined they are unable to help themselves'."

Nodding her head, her mouth set in a determined line Willow walked over to Roy's desk to answer the next call resolved to not let work get her down. The telephone rang. "IT Department how can we assist you?" asked Willow with a cheerful voice.

"I'm calling from the twelfth floor and my computer is broken."

"I'll be up to help immediately," answered Willow hanging up the receiver.

Willow looked over to Roy who was sitting in his chair holding his head in his hands. "You know what you're doing don't you?" Willow shook her head. "You are raising their service level expectations."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"It is if we are going to be expected to jump at their every beck and call," stated Roy as he walked over to the couch and flopped onto it pulling out his cell phone from his pocket and started playing BrickBreaker. Willow shrugged at Roy's attitude leaving the basement to investigate the computer issue on twelve.

Twenty minutes later she returned scowling and dropped back onto the chesterfield beside Roy who was still engaged in his game. She looked over at him waiting for him to add some cheeky comment. He ignored her totally absorbed in his game. She looked over at Moss who was furiously typing on his keyboard. She cleared her throat and announced, "So the computer problem on the twelfth floor has been fixed."

Roy looked up from his game, "Oh really? Did it require your personal expertise?"

"I think I added value."

"Please continue, is it working now?"

"Yes it is."

"And what assistance did you provide?" asked Roy.

"I forced an unexpected warm system reboot."

"So in other words," piped up Moss, "You turned the computer off and on again."

"Yes," answered Willow as she put her feet up on the coffee table in front of her.

"You are quite right Willow that problem really needed your physical presence." offered Roy sarcastically.

"You both have really low expectations of your colleagues' computer abilities." scolded Willow.

At that moment Jen poked her head out of her office. "Could one of you please step in here for a moment? My screen has rotated again and I'm finding it difficult to balance the monitor on its side." she ducked back into her office.

"My mistake Willow; this company is filled with technical wizards." Roy declared as he took a sip of his Cuke Cola.

In response Willow stuck her tongue out at him as she got up to fix Jen's computer.


	6. Chapter 6

The telephone rang. Willow and Roy looked at each other to see if the other person would offer to answer the phone. Willow sighed, "I'll get it," she offered.

"Thanks I'll just go and make myself a cup of tea," Roy responded disappearing into the back room with a mug and a smile.

"Hello IT Department how can we help you?"

Buffy poked her head around the corner, "Willow, are you down here?" Buffy smiled as she saw Willow on the telephone waving her in.

"Are you sure its plugged in?" Willow asked the person on the other end of the phone, "No? Well try that and call back if it doesn't work." Willow hung up the phone and got up from Roy's desk to give Buffy a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"When Giles told me you wanted to work in a corporate environment I really wanted to see what you were leaving us for. Quite frankly Willow, this isn't exactly what I was expecting," Buffy said looking around her. "This place looks like a male college dorm room."

"I know isn't it great?"

Buffy smiled at Willow's enthusiasm. "Has someone been giving you caffeine?" she teased.

Willow looked over and saw Moss watching the two of them expectantly. "Buffy I would like you to meet Maurice Moss. Moss, this is one of my oldest friends, Buffy Summers."

"Watch with the 'old' comments I'm already feeling my age with the girls around."

Moss stood up and walked over to Buffy his arm extended straight out for a handshake. "I am very pleased to meet you Buffy, please call me Moss. Did you know that the Queen Mother was called Buffy as a child?"

Buffy smiled at Willow; however the expression in her face clearly spoke to her friend, 'Is this dude for real?' Willow jumped into the conversation before Buffy could say anything, "That is a very interesting tidbit Moss. Buffy, I've been told that Moss is a genius inventor."

"Oh yeah," Buffy smiled and asked, "What are you working on now?"

Moss stayed silent for a moment as though considering them, "Oh alright," he agreed while removing his latest invention from his desk drawer. "Tasers are used by firing two small darts which are connected to the main unit by wires. Used this way they have a limited range. Alternatively, they can be held directly against a person's body and used to stun the individual."

The two girls looked at him with their mouths slightly open in surprise at the type of device he was working to modify. "Well I've tweaked the design a bit. The one in my hand is only a prototype, mind you, however it fires individual darts up to 50 feet away and with a remote you can determine the amount of shock you want to deliver through the dart."

"Moss, that is so cool! Can I handle it for a moment?" asked Buffy.

"Yes, but do be careful as it has a bit of a hair trigger." warned Moss.

"I'm not going to hurt anyone with it Moss." answered Buffy.

Unfortunately at that moment Roger from the twelfth floor entered the basement office. "Hey is Jen around?" he asked.

The noise startled Buffy who quickly turned her body to see who had entered the room and accidentally pressed the trigger. As luck would have it the dart flew out of the device and hit him squarely on the side of his neck.

"What was that?" Roger asked as his hand flew up to his neck.

Before he could touch the dart however Buffy got nervous and tossed the device to Moss in the air. As he caught it his finger pressed the shock trigger and sent volts of energy into the poor man's body. As Roger dropped unconscious to the floor his body shook with aftershocks from the energy of the device.

Roy entered the office as he heard Buffy say, "someone call 911."

"That's how you do it in America love," responded Roy, "here in Britain we dial 999."

"Not anymore we don't." said Moss, "Haven't you been watching the telly? They've been advertising the new number like crazy. Its now," he paused trying to remember the jingle, "0 118 999 118 … no that's not right."

"Oh I know that one. You need to dial 0118 999 881 999 119 7253." offered Buffy as she stared at the keypad of her cell phone.

"Brilliant and beautiful!" declared Roy.

Buffy flashed him a smile and rolled her eyes. The two men were too busy looking at Buffy to notice that Willow was performing a healing spell on poor Roger. Buffy watched Willow perform a quick healing spell, give her a nod and stand up.

Buffy suggested, "But if he is only stunned I don't think we need to take him to the emergency room we just need to remove this dart and someone should watch him to make sure he doesn't have a concussion from falling so hard on the floor." Buffy pulled out the dart as she was speaking.

Roy and Moss stared at Buffy with their mouths open, "How would you know that?" Roy asked.

"You might say I'm a bit accident prone so I've had some experience in treating injuries. This one isn't serious. When he wakes up he may be a bit disoriented but he'll be ok." They watched as Roger slowly regained consciousness.

Jen opened her door and joined them as they stared down at Roger. "What's going on here?"

"I think I was shot." offered Roger. Jen looked over her group and Buffy with suspicion.

Buffy spoke up, "Poor guy came into the basement looking for someone named Jen and tripped over some of the clutter from the hall."

"No, I didn't. I think I was shot." Roger insisted.

"I think he may be suffering from low blood sugar." offered Willow, "He walked in and dropped into a dead faint."

"Someone electrocuted me." He narrowed his eyes. "It was you!" he said pointing at Buffy.

"Jen, I think you had better take your friend home; he's delusional." suggested Roy.

"You're probably right." Jen agreed she offered Roger her hand and with his arm slung around her shoulders she started to walk away. "Roger lives with his Mother I'll take him home and be back after lunch."

"The only problem is will they notice the mark where the dart hit him?" asked Willow after Jen left the office.

"Please!" said Moss "The marks these darts leave are so small they look like insect stings."

"Buffy, how did you remember that number?" Willow asked her.

"Oh it was not that hard; mnemonic devices are one of the ways I was able to achieve a good score on my SAT. Since I figured this was an important number I remembered the jingle but instead substituted '011 8 XXX 881 XXX 11X SALE'."

"That's brilliant actually." Willow complimented her best friend as the two girls settled onto the couch together. "That's how you remembered it?"

"No, not really, Giles had one of the girls program the number into my cell phone in case I ever needed it." Buffy looked over at her friend and once again the basement was filled with laughter.


	7. Chapter 7

Buffy and Willow settled onto the chesterfield to engage in a brief chat. Buffy sat with her back to the two geeks while Willow's position allowed her to watch in fascination as Roy went about his hurried beauty routine.

Roy capped his hands over his mouth and silently huffed into it testing his breath. He made a sour face and lifted the tea cup that was sitting on his desk, took a sip and swished it in his mouth. He quietly gargled before swallowing it. He briskly rubbed his index finger over his front teeth and then wiped his now wet finger on his jeans. He finished his grooming routine by sniffing under his armpits; he considered the smell for a moment before shrugging as though accepting the odour. After he raked his fingers through his hair in a desperate attempt to create order to his mass of curly hair he stepped forward. Little did he realize that his intended mark was endowed with superhuman ability and was able to determine his quiet administrations even though her back was turned. Buffy smirked and looked at Willow who rolled her eyes in response.

Roy stepped forward with confidence saying, "Hi Willow, how did the computer problems work out on the 6th floor?" As he stood beside the couch he stopped, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you lovely ladies. By the way my name is Roy. I work here with Willow." He said offering Buffy his hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Roy; you seem to know your way around here," answered Buffy.

"That I do." The Irishman replied with confidence.

"So, what's behind the Red Door?" asked Buffy.

Jumping out of his chair to join them Moss vehemently declared, "That is not something that be of would interest to you."

Looking worried Roy added, "Moss is right. You know both Moss and I are men of the world and would be happy to discuss topics that would hold more interest to ladies such as yourselves."

"Like what?" asked Willow.

Roy stood frozen in fear and looked to his friend for help. Moss was quick to fill the silence for him suggesting, "What about shoes, chocolate or celebrity gossip? I have read that these topics interest most individuals of the female persuasion."

Willow looked in disbelief at the two men who were now standing side by side, "You want to talk to us about shoes, chocolate and celebrity gossip?"

Roy was looking slightly pained and while squinting his eyes agreed, "Yes, that's right."

"Or puppies, kittens and unicorns," Moss offered reaching the end of his internal list of subjects that he had mentally filed as topics that interest women. This could explain why Moss was still single and lived with his Mother.

For the second time Willow and Buffy looked at Moss with shock and awe at what he managed to surprise them with. Their gazes traveled over to Roy who was nodding his head furiously. "What lovely high heeled shoes you are wearing Buffy." Roy sputtered.

"Can I interest you bonny lasses in a chocolate?" offered Moss who had found a box buried under the clutter on his desk. As the two girls looked over the chocolates in the box Moss gave Roy a very obvious wink who responded with two thumbs up and an answering wink. Both of them believed they had successfully diverted Willow and Buffy's attention away from the Red Door.

Unfortunately for the two men Jen reappeared at that moment as though sensing chocolate was in the offering. Taking a piece she said, "Thanks Moss. Did you offer one to Richmond? You know how much he appreciates chocolate. Sorry, am I interrupting your conversation? I'm Jen; by the way, I'm the boss." Jen declared as she reached for another chocolate and with her other hand she shook Buffy's hand.

"This is my friend Buffy", Willow introduced the two women, "she was just stopping by to check out my new working environment."

"I really don't want to keep all of you away from your jobs. I should best be going." Buffy was prepared to leave immediately to prevent Willow from getting in trouble with her Manager on her first day.

"Oh no please stay." insisted Jen who had quickly sized Buffy up and decided that having her hanging around in addition to Willow would quickly change the perception of her department and with Buffy visiting she could add image points without having to pay her. Denholm would be very pleased. "So what was the topic of conversation?"

"I think make-up was next on the boy's list right before discussing the colour pink and manicure styles." offered Buffy sarcastically.

"If we are going to talk about make-up we really should go and invite Richmond to join us. He wears more make-up than most women I know." Jen declared as Moss and Roy stood looking dejected that their clever ploy had been foiled.

"I'm sorry but who is this Richmond? This is the second time you have mentioned this name but I've not met him." Willow asked. She looked over to Buffy for support who shrugged indicating she didn't know what was going on either.

Both Willow and Buffy looked over to the two men who were standing looking back non-committally.

Jen laughed, "These two treat him like some kind of office ghoul or vampire. I've even heard them refer to Richmond as, 'The Server Goblin'."

"You keep a monster around like some kind of pet?" asked Buffy horrified.

"That is really not a good idea you know." Willow confirmed.

"Oh girls don't be silly. I'm not talking about some kind of monster that would have appeared in your nightmares; I'm talking about Richmond." And with that statement she threw open the Red Door. Richmond, who had been standing in the dark looking at the flickering lights of the server, drew back in alarm as the florescent lights flooded his area.

Buffy jumped up prepared to fight whatever creature Jen was about to set loose on the office and Willow stood directly behind her drawing energy into herself preparing for battle.


	8. Chapter 8

Jen looked around the room and smiled confidently, completely oblivious to the tension that was radiating off Willow and Buffy in waves. "Girls I would like you two to meet Richmond Avenal who has been assigned to this department. Richmond, I would like you to meet Willow, a new colleague, and her friend Buffy." After her introductions were over she looked over at Buffy and Willow and seeing them in defensive postures she scolded them, "You know, Goths are people too!"

"It's amazing. Both of you have the most magnificent skull structures. The florescent lights really capture your craniums." Richmond announced as he walked towards them with his arms in the air giving him an appearance of gliding. He looked over at Roy and Moss, "I can see why you insist on me staying in that room if you have birds like these visiting you."

Buffy was the first to recover from her shock, "Hi, I'm Buffy Summers. I'm only visiting here", she affirmed as she offered him her hand.

Willow followed Buffy's example, "Hi, I'm Willow. Today is my first day here. I've been hired to work as a computer programmer although I haven't yet been given any tasks, a desk or even a computer. Wow Jen was right – you really would be an expert on make-up. Is it hot in here or is it just me? So what is your function here exactly?" Willow looked at him red-faced aware that her nerves caused her to babble.

"I've worked for Reynholm Industries for many years. I used to be Denholm Reynholm's right hand man but for some reason I am no longer able to engage people like I used to. Has anyone ever told you that you have a lovely mandible?" He said with a very serious expression.

"No, not recently at least," Willow backed up a few steps so that she was behind Buffy once again. Buffy was also looking very uncomfortable in Richmond's presence. It was not his black attire, and it wasn't his face paint although it gave both girls the impression that he was a 'Kiss' groupie. What was really bothering them was the depressed energy that swirled around him.

"Have either of you ever listened to, 'Cradle of Filth'? It's a simply marvelous group that has had a profound influence on my life."

"I'm just not much into filth myself." Buffy volunteered, "Willow, I'll see you tonight back at home?" she asked as she prepared to leave.

While Richmond had been making the girls squirm uncomfortably Roy had been having a whispered conversation with Moss. He looked up in desperation as Buffy grabbed her jacket readying herself to leave. As soon as Moss gave in and nodded Roy burst out with, "DRINKS!" everyone looked at him curiously. Roy composed himself and said more calmly, "We should go out for drinks tonight to celebrate Willow's first day of work." He looked at Buffy and Willow pleased with the excuse to have a date with the girls.

"Drinks, what a terrific idea!" trilled Jen, "Buffy you will join us won't you? And Richmond you must come too - we don't do nearly enough things together outside of work."

Roy stood there open mouthed as he watched the double date he had finally convinced Moss to go on become a work outing. He brightened considerably when Buffy answered, "Drinks sounds nice. What do you think Willow?"

"Sure we haven't been out for ages. Great idea!" her friend confirmed.


	9. Chapter 9

Please see Chapter 1 for Disclaimer

Jen saw Roy and Moss standing across the street from the club that they had agreed to meet at; but they just stood there staring at the line of people all fashionably dressed and patiently waiting in line.

"There you two are. What are you staring at?" she asked as she walked up beside them. Wordlessly they both pointed across the street. "Oh," was all she said as she looked at the line of hip clubgoers and then down at herself and the boy's attire - none of them had changed out of their work clothes.

Richmond ambled up to them, "What are you all waiting for?"

"Look at them," Jen whined, "we aren't prepared for this."

"Well I don't understand why not. Willow gave us the name of the club and that alone should have let you know it's currently one of the most fashionable in London. Now who is out of touch with reality?" They all looked at him closely and noticed that he had forgone his white face make up and now wore a more restrained black eyeliner and lipstick. He was also wearing a dark emerald green velvet cape and a brocade vest adding a formality to his outfit.

"Willow did say our names were on the list. We should go and check it out." Moss finally offered shuffling back and forth he led the way across the road to the bouncer who was staring at them in disbelief while holding a clipboard.

Roy walked over to the bouncer and mumbled, "I think our names are on your list." The bouncer looked at him like he had just grown a third head.

"Are you sure?" the bouncer asked.

"Quite sure sir. Willow Rosenberg and Buffy Summers emailed us a confirmation at 2:55 pm today," Moss replied in his exacting way.

"Oh, I'm very sorry. I didn't realize you were the guests of Buffy and Willow. Please come right in." He quickly stepped aside to let them pass while glaring at the crowd who erupted in boos and hisses at the dorks going in ahead of them.

The Reynholm Industries IT group strode into the club but didn't walk very far before they came to a dead stop. A live band played a modern gyrating rhythm as blue and green strobe lights passed over the crowd. Richmond immediately abandoned them to discover if the bar served absinthe. Moss stood very still attempting to not touch anyone or any surface. Jen started bobbing her head in an attempt to blend in by, 'feeling the groove'. Roy searched the crowd looking for Buffy and Willow. It was just as well that the music was so loud because he was speechless as his eyes drank in their attire.

Both girls showed off their flat abdominals although Buffy was more brazen with her tight black dress pants and a red button down shirt that stopped beneath her breasts. Willow's outfit was more subdued but equally sexy. She wore a long skirt and a cropped top covered by a thin jacket that showed off her belly.

"I need a drink before I attempt to talk to the girls."

"WHAT?" screamed Moss.

"Let's go to the bar and get a drink."

"WHAT?" screamed Moss unable to hear over the music.

"I NEED SOME LIQUID COURAGE BEFORE I START LETCHING!" screamed Roy. Unfortunately the music had stopped during Roy's pronouncement and the bar patrons all turned around and stared at him identifying the pervert. Humiliated, Roy said, "I'm going to get a drink now."

"Why didn't you just say so?" Moss asked as he trundled along beside him.

As Roy stood at the bar drinking his Guinness and Moss drank his Cuke, they watched Buffy and Willow continue to shake their assets on the dance floor. They looked over and saw Jen giggling at something being whispered in her ear by some strange man. Even Moss shook his head in disgust at the suitor Jen had picked up with his skinny tie, bright shiny blue jacket, rolled up cuffs pinned with safety pins and bright white sneakers. It was like he was stuck in the eighties.

"We should say hello to Willow and Buffy." Roy suggested to Moss.

"Do you see how many people are in the way Roy? There is gong to be some involuntary touching!"

"You know, I think these people kind of expect that to happen here."

They made their way to the dance floor. Roy was careful to rub against as many women as possible along the way. Moss was equally careful to ensure he didn't come in contact with anyone or anything. Once they made it to the dance floor Willow and Buffy greeted them warmly. Buffy led the way off the floor and asked where Jen and Richmond were. As the boys pointed out their colleagues Buffy's look turned silent and serious. She marched over to Jen's new friend grabbed him by his skinny tie and dragged him out the back door of the club leaving Willow to nervously calm her coworkers.


	10. Chapter 10

Please see Chapter 1 for Disclaimer

Willow's smiles were regrettably not reassuring. Roy hurried after Buffy who was quickly trailed by Moss and Jen. Willow scurried behind, trying to distract them with offers of free drinks; but her generosity was ignored.

As Roy opened the door to the alley he could hear the sounds of fighting. "What's going on here?" he demanded.

"Oh I do hope there isn't anything wrong. That nice chap asked me out on a date for Saturday night. I think he wants to take me to a sushi restaurant. He asked if I liked raw food," said a worried Jen.

As the group rounded the dumpster they could see Buffy and Jen's gentleman friend locked in some sort of physical confrontation. Buffy was facing the audience which meant that they were unable to see the face of Jen's mystery man.

"Safety pins? Really?" Buffy quipped, "Couldn't you have just worn a name tag declaring yourself the Prince of Dorkness?"

"Jen, it sounds like Buffy knows your friend and he is part of the royal family. You are a lucky girl," remarked Moss.

"Or she would be if your friend stopped beating him up. What's going on Willow? Is Buffy an anti-royalist or what?" Roy asked Willow.

"I don't think you have the full story." Willow said wincing as the vampire's fist connected with Buffy's face. "Let's go back inside. Those two have issues they need to clear up."

"No, its been too long since an available single man picked me up in a bar and its not fair that your friend is monopolizing his time!" Jen insisted.

Richmond walked around the dumpster joining them, "What's going on? I saw you all leave out the back door and assumed you were ditching me."

They all watched as Buffy delivered a roundhouse kick followed by an upper cut. The vampire flew through the air and landed on his back in front of the observers. He looked over at them and snarled.

"Oh I get it - a vampire." Richmond said in a calm voice, "I think I'll go back in to see to the two beauties I left inside. I'll see you at work tomorrow," as he disappeared back through the door of the club.

Jen, Moss and Roy watched in astonishment as Buffy declared, "Come back here." While grabbing his foot she pulled him back and than leapt into the air landing on top of him stake first. He vanished into a pile of dust.

Buffy looked up to see her audience, "Oh ah, hi there."

"No need to say anymore Buffy. We all know what that was." reassured Moss.

Roy asked, "So you go around killing these creatures?" for the first time he felt that maybe he and Buffy were not in the same league.

"That's just great! I now have no plans for Saturday night thank you very much. And I've already texted my friends bragging about the catch I bagged tonight."

"Well, this went better than expected," Willow commented to Buffy helping her up before dealing with her new friends from work.


	11. Chapter 11

Please see Chapter 1 for Disclaimer

Willow arrived to work early the next morning eager to soothe her colleagues' concerns. She paced back and forth, impatient to deal with the consequences of her new friend's knowledge of the supernatural.

She reflected back to the night before and decided that Richmond would be the easiest to deal with as he was somehow already aware of the things that go bump in the night. Before they left the club he reassured Willow and Buffy that he didn't want to be a vampire. He was already depressed, why would be want to feel that way for an eternity?

Jen may not have been from Sunnydale but she would have been quite comfortable with the resident's classic denial. She seemed to have blocked out her first escort's exploding into dust and replaced it with Buffy chasing him off without first getting his telephone number. Buffy and Willow managed to distract her by setting her up with the cute bartender. One look at his broad shoulders, blue eyes, straight teeth and dimples and Jen forgot all about the first joker she had been interested in.

Willow was much more worried about Roy and Moss. Roy had gone speechless and started to drink hard throughout the rest of the night. Moss, although he didn't rely on booze to numb his response, wasn't exactly a 'Chatty Cathy' either. Both men were deep in thought for the rest of the night. Buffy and Willow walked them home but neither man behaved normally.

Willow stopped pacing as she watched Jen make a dramatic entrance into the office. She was wearing the same clothes as the night before however her outfit was disheveled. Jen leaned back against the door frame with the back of her hand against her forehead, "Oh my Willow, what a night!"

"Would that be a good night or a bad one?"

"Do you really need to ask?"

"Well…"

"It was a good one you silly goose! I really must thank Buffy for introducing me to Tom. Let me tell you he can mix my drinks anytime!" she said while waggling her eyebrows.

Willow cringed a bit from the inference, "That's good; you have nothing to say about the first guy you met?"

"Oh him, no, he was a total loser compared to Tom. Buffy was right, I mean safety pins? How long has that been out of style? I really need to thank Buffy for running him off. I usually have the most atrocious taste in men. If you need me I'll be napping in my office." She smiled and looked Willow in the eye, "don't need me."

Willow shook her head thinking that the 'Sunnydale Syndrome,' was alive and well in London. She continued her pacing, concerned about Roy and Moss.

Richmond was next to arrive. Willow again stopped her pacing to look at him, waiting for him to comment about the night before. He looked even paler than he had been the previous day. "Is everything alright?" she asked.

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Umm, you know the altercation Buffy got in?" she hedged gently, not wanting to disclose too much information in case his memory had also covered it up.

"You mean when she fought that vampire?" he responded in his mournful voice, "Being a Slayer I assume she won?"

"Yes she did …" Willow hesitated for a moment, "How did you know Buffy was a Vampire Slayer?"

"How many Buffy's can there be who fight the Forces of Darkness? When you lurk around the edges of humanity you learn a thing or two. What do you think Cradle of Filths' number one song is about?"

"Really? Giles will be interested to learn that the supernatural has already been 'outted' to the Goth community." Willow mused.

Richmond looked around the office aimlessly, "Well, if there is nothing else?"

"Thanks for your time, Richmond." He gave Willow a curt nod and gracefully left via the Red Door.

Roy entered the office wearing dark glasses. He looked over to Willow and grunted a greeting.

"How are you feeling after last night Roy?"

"I think I had a wee too much whiskey last night. It appears that my memory has been playing tricks on me."

"What do you remember?"

"I keep picturing your friend Buffy beating up a guy. The guy turned into a monster and Buffy made him disappear into a shower of dust."

"What do you think about that scenario?"

"I think I may have overdone the drinks because that couldn't have happened could it?" Willow looked back at him non-committal. "Go on with you" He said staring at Willow with his glasses off. Willow looked back neither admitting nor denying the claim. Roy laughed, "You're a tricky one aren't you? You almost had me believing in my own nightmares. I need some coffee and an antacid to get me through the day." He looked at her one last time and laughed shaking his head as he headed for the kitchen.

Moss entered the basement humming. He looked up at Willow and cheerfully announced, "Well a good morning to you!"

"How are you today?" Willow inquired.

"I am absolutely smashing! I could barely get to sleep last night as my brain synapses were firing so fast. The ideas and the implications are remarkable!"

"Do you have any questions or concerns?"

"Do I ever! But first and most importantly I need to know, does the organization that you and Buffy belong to have an inventor on staff?"

"How do you know there is an organization?"

"Please! With Buffy referring to a person named Giles and going on every ten minutes about having to report to him there has to be a hierarchy; which means you are organized."

"We have no inventor on staff."

"Do you think there might be a need for one?"

"I'm not sure, maybe."

"Fantastic!"

"Why don't you come by the Watcher's Council after work? Were you interested in working there instead of here?"

"No, I thought something part time like you seem to be doing would suit me best. I couldn't exactly leave Roy and Jen knowing about the supernatural now, could I?"

"I suppose not."

"Jolly good!" Moss sat at his desk and started typing away.

Willow looked at him for a few moments to see if anything else would be said.

The phone rang.

Willow turned from Moss and walking over to answer it she cleared her throat, picked up the receiver and asked, "Have you tried turning it off and on?"


End file.
